To people who care about me and who don’t give a shit about me,
I’m broken. It has become so obvious. Many people have pointed that out. I’m emotionally destroyed and there’s nothing to do except watch me fall apart. Everyday it gets worst, nothing ever gets better. I’m alone in this world that it’s starting to get to me. I always have to remind myself that it’s my fault for people not liking me. I am stuck-up, rude, anti-social. It’s all my fault. I’m depressed, obsessed and an asshole. There’s no one to blame but myself. It’s so hard because no one knows the real me. No one knows what I have to deal with on a daily basis. No one knows anything about me. And those who came to know a little bit about me, left me. They know me as a bubbly, cheerful and happy girl but that’s not even close to what I am. That’s just an act. That’s a lie. People always tell me to “get over it”. But how could I get over something so cruel. I will never forget how I saw my lover fall gradually in love with someone so close to me. I will never get over the words I spoke to you only to get a deafening silence. I will never forget how my mother cried for me. I will never forget how I asked you to stay and you chose that other person. I will never forget that night when I was in so much pain that I had to grab a razor and glide it across my wrist just so I could get the pain I deserved. I’ll never forget the nights I cried myself to sleep with no one to tell me that it was all going to be okay. I won’t forget the cuts on my arm that I did because I was mess. And in the ending, I deserved all of this. I never knew how to love people. I never knew how to love myself. So, don’t tell me to “get over it” when you know nothing. And I still haven’t told everything in this open letter. Do you think I like being “sad”? No, I don’t. But this sadness is all I have. This sadness has consumed me. And it’s too late to save me from it.
Nobody to you.