Maybe someday we can rewrite our story. Maybe in that story we don’t hurt each other, like we did in this one. Maybe we are just in love and happy the way it should be.
Or maybe not.
Maybe we just have to move on. Maybe someday we will just become a memory that happened a long ago. Maybe we won’t remember the time that we had or the love we shared. Maybe I will forget your smile, your lips and the person I was so in love with.
Maybe somewhere I deserve you and you deserve me, and we get the ending that we should have. We just met in the wrong universe. That’s all. I have to believe that, someday we will meet again when the timing is right and there is nothing holding us back.
What if, in another universe, I deserve you?
Hear me out. There’s this philosopher from the 1890s named William James, and he coined this theory about “the multiverse” which suggests that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that can possibly exist simultaneously.
Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is all happening at once in different timelines: it’s the idea of parallel universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real.
Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you.
Maybe there’s a universe out there – happening now – where we end up together and when I close my eyes at night, I’m not dreaming the way a normal person would. Instead I’m seeing flashes of our lives in the multiverse. They’re not simple dreams because I miss you, right? They’re scientific, anachronistic visions.
In this universe, I am an obsessed one that ruins people. But maybe there is a universe where I am lovable, sweet and a normal person.
Maybe there’s a universe where we are middle aged and taking our child to college and bickering over where to put her dresser or what posters she should hang up. Where we both have gray hair and we laugh and smile and hug and drink lemonade on the porch.
Maybe there’s a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.
Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. A universe where we are happy – without wondering if that happiness is some messed up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure, and we have dogs, rabbits and chicken.
Maybe there is a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies – my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth – and we both don’t want anything or anyone else. Where we don’t want more, we just want each other.
Maybe there’s a universe where you don’t force me into being someone I am not. Or there is a universe where I am not a coward or this control freak suffocate inducing person.
If you think of it all this way, then it’s like neither of us did anything wrong.
You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all. This is, as they say, the darkest timeline. If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe -just this one – where we don’t end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault.
So see, that explains everything. We’re not together anymore because of the multiverse.
Well, isn’t that comforting?
If you’re sad, do like I do and just think of the other universes. The ones where you believe in love and where I don’t hate myself. A universe where we love each other and can have nice things. It’s helpful, right? And if you’re happy. Continue it.
Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.
Or maybe I just lost my mind. 🙂
~ Ankita Brahma 💔