This Side Of Me

To every person, there lies another side of them. We harbour a complete different side that is kept in the dark. With this post, I will showcase my other side, which is the “fangirl” side of me. The “fangirl” side of me is totally wacky and is into many different fandoms. Most importantly, as the other fangirls are, I am hardcore shipper too. The most important thing we desire in our ships is a “canon”status. I don’t have a long list of ex-lovers but I do have long list of ships for which I’m insane now. You totally got the reference right?
Sometimes, I think and realise that other, normal people don’t get what ships and canon are. We probably sound like pirates. I assure you, we aren’t. Ships are a diminutive of “relationship”. We “ship” characters from a particular movie, series or books. You would think what the point of it is. The answer is “I don’t know”. There is no point. 

People think that fangirls are always happy but there’s more to it. It is the only form of happiness that’s left for us and we cling to it.

In our long list of ships, we have one special ship of ours. That’s called OTP (One True Pairing). OTPs are what we want subconsciously desire in our relationships. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters mentioned below and I ship according to chemistry not genders.

Here are some of my random thoughts on my OTP- Destiel. Destiel is the official ship name of Supernatural’s own characters, Dean and Castiel. These are thoughts and pieces of work written over the course of time. And some of it are pieces and words written by the credited people. I have accumulated all my pieces and others too for the blog.

Opening it with my favourite words written by an unknown :

“And our eyes, green and blue.

Like the sky reaching down to touch the grass,

Like heaven descending to Earth.

And when they blend,

Like the salty, turquoise ocean,

Lapping the surface.

Thirsting for our love.

But we have to be careful, my dear.

Because in a certain lightning,

One might mistake our eyes for a dirty brown,

Or a dangerous, sinful black.

Let me tell you why Destiel is the greatest love story ever told. It is –

The story of a man afraid of flying, and an angel afraid of falling, who somehow met in the middle. The man who denied the existence of angels came to love one. The angel who never felt began to feel. The man who was saved from an eternity in Hell by an angel. The angel who fell in every way imaginable for a man. The man, with a clear path to escape, decided instead to stay in purgatory for a year, searching for his angel, praying to him every night. When he found him, he held him; he told him that he needs him, that he’d get him out, even if it killed them both. The angel rejected his faith, his family, his home, and everything he knew, so he could keep the man safe. They stay together despite fate, despite what they are, because they refuse to be pulled apart.

-quoted from the definition of “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told” in Urban Dictionary.

When Season 11 finale aired, I thought of this after watching it.

Castiel, An Angel of the Lord, pulling Dean Winchester into a huge hug and offering to die with him. “I could go with you.”

With the famous dialogue of Supernatural, I wrote this-

“When the stars are misplaced,

Have your faith and pray.

For everything you thought you knew.

Angels are watching over you.”

I tried a one stanza poetry thing.

“I’m hunted and I rebelled.

I had fallen and heaven’s got me expelled.

Threw away my faith and everything I knew.

And I did it, all of it, for you.”

Dean and Castiel deserve happiness but I guess I have to wait for it till Season 84 of “SuperNoHomoBro” airs. See? I’m funny too. I wonder why most people don’t get it.

“I wish circumstances were different.

I wish we met in a supermarket.

I wish we talked about grocery.

I wish we exchanged numbers.

I wish we had dinner at restaurants.

I wish we just had fallen in love in a much simpler way.

It just happened to be one universe where I had to raise you from perdition.”

~ Untold words from Castiel to Dean.

*Season 8, episode 17 will forever be one of the episodes where it ripped my heart off. Castiel was programmed to kill Dean but when Dean says, “I need you.” Castiel’s mind control shatters.

Roses are red

Dean’s blood too.

On his knees begging

“Please this isn’t you.”
The blade hand goes slack

Blank eyes turn blue.

Mind control shattered.

Cas says, “Dean, I love you.” 

(Source: Tumblr)

A certain line from a novel I read, totally shouted Destiel to me. Also it points out to the eyes of Misha Collins. 

They’re crystal blue, a shade that shouldn’t exist on human body, a shade I immediately crave, a shade that makes my heart beat a little faster – almost as if I recognise it. I want to steal it, paint it, throw it into every room I decorate. It’s the most perfect blue I’ve ever seen. 

~ Quoted from “The Chaos of the Stars.” By Kiersten White. 

Also from the same novel, these lines are just beautiful. 

I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe that we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. 

And it’s beautiful that there is nothing in this world Castiel will choose over Dean. And it’s canon. We know it.

With each increasing day, this will go on. I will pen down my thoughts in my rough, old notebook and I will find many pieces and extracts from novels and songs that will remind me of Destiel. 

Most people think of their lovers, crushes when they listen to a romantic song. But we automatically think of our OTPs. And that’s what unite us all together. 

Long Live, Fangirls and Fanboys too.

Till then, Carry On my Wayward Sons and Daughters. 

~Ankita Brahma, the Destiel shipper and big fangirl of almost everything. ♥


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Sneh Adwani says:

    Sometimes, I think and realise that other, normal people don’t get what ships and canon are. We probably sound like pirates.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha. 😂 Basically our life.


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